We all need a little humor now and then, even the EasyCare Customer Service Reps!
Hock:? Financial condition of all horse owners.
Stall:? What your rig does at rush hour in an unfamiliar city on the way to a big horse show.
A Bit:? What you have left in your pocket after you've been to your favorite tack shop.
Fence:? Decorative structure built to provide your horse with something to chew on.
Horse Auction:? What you think of having after your horse bucks you off.
Pinto:? Green coat pattern found on freshly washed light colored horses left unattended for 2 minutes.
Well Mannered:? Hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week.
Rasp:? Abrasive metal tool used to remove excess skin from ones knuckles.
Lunging:? Popular training method in which a horse exercises their owner by spinning them in circles until dizzy.
Gallop:? Customary gait a horse chooses when returning back to the barn.
Nicely Started:? Lunges, but not enough health insurance to even think about riding him.
Colic:? Gastrointestinal result of eating at horse fair food stands.
Colt:? What your mare gives you when you want a filly.
Easy to Load:? Only takes 3 hours, 4 men, a 50lb bag of oats, and a tractor with loader.
Easy to Catch:? In a 10x10 stall.
Easy Rider:? Rides good in a trailer; not to be confused with "ride-able".
Endurance Ride:? End result when your horse spooks and runs away with you.
Hives:? What you get when you receive the vet bill for your 6 horses, 3 dogs, 4 cats, and 1 donkey.
Hobbles:? Walking gait of a horse owner after their foot has been stepped on by their horse.
Feed:? Expensive substance used to manufacture manure.
Dog House:? What you are in when you spend too much money on grooming supplies
and pretty halters.
Light Cribber:? We can't afford to build anymore fencing or box stalls for this buzz saw on four legs.
Three Gaited Horse:? A horse that. 1) trips, 2) stumbles, 3) falls.
THE 12 "MOST IMPORTANT" THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU OWN A HORSE.
-To induce labor in a mare? Take a nap.
-To cure equine constipation? Load them in a clean trailer.
-To cure equine insomnia? Take them in a halter class.
-To get a horse to stay very calm and laid back? Enter them in a liberty class.
-To get a horse to wash their own feet? Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.
-To get a mare to come in heat? Take her to a show.
-To get a mare in foal the first cover? Let the wrong stallion get out of his stall.
-To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always
wanted? Sell her before she foals.
-To get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch? Get him out late at night or anytime no one is a round to see him.
-To induce a cold snap in the weather? Clip a horse.
-To make it rain? Mow a field of hay.
-To make a small fortune in the horse business?? Start with a large one.
"I've spent most of my life riding horses. The rest I've just wasted."-Anonymous
Comments